29/03/10 Weirdos coughing, The IBAs and the danager twins.

Apartment Red


This thursday is April fools day. Apartment Red the online series that starts Twotube eachday and who Stephen is involved with, are planning a massive april fools prank. They're after releasing a single called "sounds of a man coughing gently over samba music" The idea is to get to high in the charts and prank the nation. All funds raised from sales of the single go to the charity "reachout.com" and there's cool prizes for those who do the most promoting. Thats why I'm doing this, I must have the merch!!!!!




Irish Blog Awards.

The IBAs were on in Galway over the weekend. The awards, which are voted for by the public in a variety of different categories. There was 900 blogs nominated and some of the winners were.


beaut.ie was the winner of the overall blog award for a third year in a row. This is a beauty website playing on the pun of beauty/ie. They test out new products and have all the latest baragains from around the country. Check out the site because I'm not very much up on the whole beauty side of things.


Culch.ie won best popculture blog award. A guy called Darren Byrne runs the site with a few other contributers who each write about their own niches. They have music, movie and gig reviews as well as competitions and lots of other cool things.


nialler9.com got best music blog award for the fourth year in a row. He has playlists albums, single and gig reviews. He's also just back from the SXSW musical festival. So check him out too.


For all of the results from the night, click here.


Five Facebook fancies.

5.I Have A Zombie Apocalypse Plan.
(I can't tell anyonr incase they turn into a Zombie)
[Stephen calls it a Z-day plan I have assured him he is not cool enough to say that]

4."I see you've played knifey spooney before"
(Simpsons quote)

3. Who is shawty? Apparently she has a lot of rapper boyfriends
(She gets low low, and attends parties)

2. I hate it when someone comes over and I have to put pants on.
(As Lisa Simpson says in 21.16 "the man hates pants")


(For all those who have ever, or are at the moment studying irish)
1. Léigh anois go cúramach ar do scrúdpháipéar na treoracha agus na ceisteanna
(le chuid A, BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!)
(Everyone repeats it in class)





My Celeb and weird news findings.


The GORILLAZ are back and with more marketing gimicks. This time they have created an online game on their website, gorillaz.com where fans get to play a few levels escaping from their headquarters for free, before paying an additional 1.50. But they will get to download their upcoming single "Superfast Jellyfish" ahead of the May 9th release date. So not all greedy, but they are clever.






It's been reported that Jordan or Katie Price is selling her 2.5 million mansion, because she believes her sunbed is haunted. Infact the house is apparently being haunted by a pair of ghosts, a man and a woman. Jordan is freaked out. She's after having psychics in and her husband Alex Reid has claimed he saw the "ghost" upstairs too. Then again she might just want to get away from the place where Peter André and her lived.






Miley Cyrus, another celeb with an alter ego confirmed that she is planning to stop making music. She's said that she has become disillusioned with the music industry, and wants to focus more on her acting career. Now she is only after doing two movies outside of "Hannah Montana" which has been axed, so she 's taking a big risk. Her upcoming album is out in June and she's claiming it'll be her last. But you can be sure if things in the film industry start going bad for her, we'll see her back in the recording studio.





Weird



Members of an Egyptian family have been using paper and pencils for communications for 11 years after the head of the family found a listening device in their apartment.
The bug was apparently installed by Muhammad's first wife. The man moved to a new apartment after that but the bugs moved with him and the family decided to use notes for communication when at home. His six-year-old daughter had to learn to write early.
After eleven years, they got sick and tired of writing letters to each other and turned for help to specialists only when Muhammad's ex-wife died. Unfortunately for them it has emerged that the bug was actually a fake all along.



A school which has changed its starting time to 10am in England has improved attendance. The extra hour in bed has meant general absence has has dropped 8% while long term absenteeism has dropped 27%. This was started in October as a test and might possibly become standard soon there. I know a lot of people who'll be very happy if this goes mainstream.






Danger
Have you ever been in a situation where somebody has said to you "thats really dangerous" and you've wanted to say or you have said "shur my middle name is danger." Well two Australian twins will be able to quiten all those literalists out there, because both Billie and Ridley Lampard have the middle name "Danger". Their parents are calling them the danger twins. They're less than a week old. Not everyone is convinced though as they've received mixed reaction from family and friends over it. They're not the first to do it though because former Australian rugby international, Matt Rogers 3 year old son's middle name is danger




Remember you can follow me on Twitter _ilikeshorts

Cheers for reading to here. Now for an entertaining picture or two.

22/03/10 the week of the luminous yellow tie

A geeky day in geeksville for me

http://www.survivingtheworld.net/
This is a witty guide to life in general provided by an engineering graduate in America. He writes practical advise on a blackboard and puts the pictures up on this site. With nearly 600 entries so far, you have plenty lessons to live your life by.
eg. You smell all manly means either "Nice colgne" or "Take a shower", or “Celebration of Irish culture plus ignorance of irish culture = stereotyping”

http://www.engrish.com/
Most people will have heard of situations where an automatic translater program doesn't always work perfectly. On enrish.com you can check out tons of examples of poor translation from the sign in the dentists office saying "don't scream" to the warning sign that reads "drowning accidents are now popular" Or the city welcome sign which says "the metropolis infested with foreign adventurers"

-At a pier instead of saying “beware of drowning,” it said "drowning accidents are now popular"

-Or the city welcome sign which instead of saying “tourist centre” it says "the metropolis infested with foreign adventurers"

-Instead of saying “don’t put paper in the toilet” it said “don’t feed the toilet”

-Instead of “no smoking” it said “non-smoking allowed

http://www.foundmagazine.com/
If you've ever found something that you thought was really cool like a note or an old picture then www.foundmagazine.com is the site for you. Everyday a picture of a new find is posted. These include private notes people have sent to each other. Like one which said "on average a giraffes tongue is 22 inches long"

“mom the toilet over flowed, Don’t worry”

“your car is ugly”

“I ate the chocolate cake”

Facebook 5

5. Speaking of pirate change your language setting to english (pirate) to see your friends become "shipmates" and account becoming an "arrrcount"

4. The urge to stand up and shout THIS IS SPARTA! when it's all queit in exams

3. Using Terrible Puns

2. The shin: a body part used to find furniture in the dark

1. My email address is stupid because i made it when i was 11.



Some of these include: momma64@.... happyaslarry@..... michaeljacksonstolemybaby@....

Follow: me on twitter _ilikeshorts

Celeb and Weird Link

Freida Pinto of 'Slumdog millionaire' fame is after landing the new Bond girl part according to reports. This will be the 23rd bond flick, She'll be starring alonside Daniel Craig for it. Sam Mendes, who is in the news for his split from Kate Winslet suring the week, is set to direct it. While Peter Morgan, the writer of 'The Queen' is writing it. As usual for Bond girls this will be a fairy raunchy role and Freida's boyfriend Dev Patel of skins fame has said he is cool with seeing reida rolling around with 007.

P-Diddy AKA Sean Combs is in talks to buy Crystal Palace football team. The Championshipside are in trouble and could get relegated next year but apparently Diddy doesn't care. He has fallen for the club and wants to be with them no matter what happens. He now knows how much it'll cost to buy so its just a matter of time before we hear if there will be a new playa's lounge at palace.

Oasis' Liam Gallagher obviously hasn't met many people after he said this over the weekend.

"I have never seen a U2 fan. I have never seen anyone with a U2 shirt or been around someone's house that has a f**king U2 record. Where do their fans f**king come from? Where are they? I reckon they buy them. With all the money they've made, they just bought a load of people and every time they do a gig they get a shovel and pile them into their gigs to make them look good."

I guess he won't be collaberating with them anytime soon.

Simon Cowell is to give Susan Boyle a £4MILLION birthday present. Britain's Got Talent singer Boyle will get the massive royalty payout in time for her 49th on April 1. She has sold more than 8.5million copies of her I Dreamed A Dream album since last November.
Her friends reckon the first thing she'll do with the money is buy a new house in Bathgate West Lothian. She's also planning on launching her own clothing range with a new tartan design. Apparently "She has been living on an allowance from Simon but payday's here and it's the first of many." I thought she'd gotten paid already but apparently this is the first time shes has the money in her bank. What a nice start off bank account it is.

The police in the US are after deciding to change from their current cop cars to those used in, wait for it ROBOCOP! Thats right the Ford Taurus from Robocop which has never been made since the film is about to be rolled out. Its going to be faster stronger and way cooler then the current cars with fitted computer systems, V6 engines and 365 Brake horse power. If you want to get your hands on one of these beasts, youre going to have to join the police because the 45,000 being made every year won't be available for bad guys or us common citizens.

Barrack Obama settled a bet he made about the winter olympics with the Canadian prime minister. He lost 2 cases of beer thanks to the American hockey teams loss in the competition and so had to hand over the goods. The PM said the beer would be going on display in the Hockey hall of fame.

Weird headline: Colorado skunk's head freed from peanut butter jar

Now to keep you entertained, heres a humerous pic stolen from http://www.theinsider.com/

From the train

Pre-apologies to anybody reading this


To decipher anything below you should know everything in brackets is my brain questioning and critisising what I say, (why'd i write that I'm sure its understandable)

I mentioned on mondays show that my laptop had crashed recently and I'd had lost everything. Well its worse than that because now I'm on a train and its useless. Normally watching videos or doing work passes away the near 3 hours of sitting down to cork, but not today. I thought after rebooting everything would be fine again but I HAVE NO DRIVER! these are those invisible things that come with every bought laptop, I though " oh sure how bad can it be without a few of those things" the answer is very. Firstly I cant use Usb sticks no ability to transfer files whatsoever, secondly I'm not able to upload pics from my sd card which is a pain, and worst of all I have lost nearly every program except for the basics and Windows media player doesn't come standard with the ability to play DVDs I mean what are they at, Its nearly 10 years since DVDs became the standard for video playback, I wouldn't expect to buy a vcr and have to go online and take forever downloading something that makes it able to read tape. Why isn't it standard. I thought I was being very smart even up to a couple of minutes ago (I'm on the train) when I decided to bring 'Pulp Fiction' along with me. A dvd will have to work, well it doesn't. Now I don't want to admit defeat and actually go to a computer repair place or get it done professionaly, (I reckon thats just out of pure stubborness) But I am after downloading two different automatic driver repairer programs aswell as countless attempts at getting driver off of the HP website itself, Oh ya its HP (heap of poop) Ok so I could have probably come up with something better than that but thats what it has become. All this backing up talk reminds me I should save this before it crashes again.------Job saved now to continue with my rant. "Why why why???" I find myself asking it everyday now. But no matter how long I plea with it, she just refuses to work, (Woah my first time giving my laptop a gender). Anyway that rant didn't solve anything and I feel like I'm waiting on the "death row" of slowness just waiting for the bluescreen of death.

The worst thing about this post is that I won't be posting it till I get home and will have calmed down by then, I'll have to restrain myself from editing relentlessly, (My old english teacher wouldn't be too happy with this)

Sooo the show and stuff, we finally managed to put up an episode on youtube for all of Stephens crazy fans and it has something like 1500 hits so far, (If you are one of these individuals then I appologise because you are one of my few readers at the moment), which I have got to say I'm taking half credit for even though evidently the only views there to see me were the 3 different times I narcasistically looked at myself on it. I'm not going to deny it I do try and watch every weeks episode afterwards, but in my defence "Its to learn from my mistakes" ya right I just want to see myself on telly. But who wouldn't, you always hear of people going "I never watch myself" like Johnny Depp, because me and Johnny are so similar(thats right first name terms) haha I wish.





RANDOM train thought #1: If you are ever getting the dublin to cork train, never get the 5 o clock, its very crowded.I like the six none of the hassle and always a free plug socket.

RANDOM train thought #2: Dont fall asleep on the train with other people around you will either be ridiculed or when you wake up you will be surrounded (true story)

RANDOM train thought #3: Call your random train thoughts your "thought of train", haha like "train of thought" get it? (sorry thats sad)

RANDOM train thought #4: The automatic doors between carraiges aren't always very automatic, I wouldn't advise running at them


RANDOM train thought #5: Its 147 steps from where I'm sitting to the food carraige, think ahead!





Anyone who has seen the show and reads this (I dont think there is many/any) will think I am obsessed with the number five and lists containing 5 entries, well I think its all sub-conscience from when I was younger, I used listen to a show that had a "Late and live top 5" every night, I only just realised this the other day. Still nothing wrong with lists of five, everyone has lists of 5 or 3 its like some insane obsession with prime numbers I never heard of a list containing 104,729

 entries before (look it up, its prime, I'm such a geek!)

Getting back to the whole 'death of a laptop thing' I'm actually writing this on "WordPad" now its not great but it does, infact I think its a very underrated program,

Which reminds me, (somehow, how does that remind me?)
Corresepondance with television shows. It can be both good and bad, on "Twotube" you can upload vlogs of your opinions about the music thats reviewed, On "Red" they get loads of fanmail (like sweets and stuff, seriously hmmm Twotube could do with that) on "Family Guy" they get complaints and lots of them. Now I'm a fan and I've seen some extremely offensive things on the show, depending on your views, But this clip below has gotten the most complaints in television history, 188,000. The worst thing is, its no where near the worst I've seen. Anyway enjoy it, (i said this at breakfast the other day, it had the same reaction)





So a lot of people online (well a few, at least one) have been asking if guys have to have strange hair to go on twotube. The simple answer is yes. I used have a tight hair cut, Dylan had black hair and Stephen and Dara were bald in their early teens. Mike on the other hand had dread locks.
Of course its not a prerequisite, But yes I have noticed the selection of hair styles around. On the plus its nice that I am the normal one for once. Ya well thats about it on the topic, Just to clarify anything in that paragraph before this can not be taken with any certainty. Infact I just made it up now.

This train trip is really giving me too much time and I know that about only 10% of people (whats 10 percent of 5?) will get past the first sentence. So for those of you who have well done and I reward you with this important message.

Good night safe home and follow my twitter _ilikeshorts.