Friday, October 29, 2010

New Job in a somewhat unusual place

So I got a new job, a rather unorthodox one at that. Apparently I am now some sort of multitasking security gaurd. Gone are my days of brightly coloured t-shirts, with a sometimes humorous slogan, and undefinable jeans. Hello navy pants, navy jumper, navy tie and BLUE shirt. I love it really though, yes I am once am once again working in one of the strangest places on earth, a tv studio. In particular "The Rumour Room" tv studio which is stranger than most.

For any of you who don't know what it is; The Rumour Room is a television show aimed at young people, beyond that level of explanation I'm not really sure. I used try explaining it to people all of the time but if you can't tell what it is in your own head then it is very hard to vocalise this vagueness. I guess it's an ever changing show. The first part of the show I was involved in was when we started shooting the sketches, loads and loads of sketches and there's still loads being made all of the time, they're quite funny actually, I genuinely find myself laughing out loud or LOLing as you barely younger than me folk like to refer to it as. Another thing we do on the show is music parody songs and music videos. All I seem to be refering to at the moment is my non security gaurd time.

The main studio show itself is where my true skills as defunct member of the secret service really get to shine through (might not be entirely true). I mind the prizes so as they make it to our viewers each week I mean it wouldn't exactly be great if we started sending out a black box with random junk in it. I mind all sorts of prizes, well I think they're prizes I'm not really sure. Last week Dermot asked me to watch a car for him and this week Jarlath had me looking at an ipod (he was showing me a video but I still felt like I was minding it).

One of my cousins , Willie (who also happens to be a security gaurd), got a cameo on the show a few weeks ago when he dragged a shopping obsessed gentleman out of a store. You can see his brilliant scruff grabbing skills at 24.00 at the moment anyway.

Ya well that is the show awfully sumarised, I also do other things there too but they film them so they aren't very imprortant.

You can watch some videos of the show here YOUTUBE

Follow the them here TWITTER or FACEBOOK

If you want to watch the entire show anywhere in the world it's on the RTÉ Player ->HERE<-

Ok amigos I will be back at some stage but for now, Stay classy?

Monday, April 26, 2010

26/04/2010 OMG ROFLMAOOL -- Ya I'm so hip


Is a collection of poor fixing jobs or epic kludges as they are known. This is when people get inventive in solving their problems. Now I know these are supposed to be mocking the methods used but I think some of the things here are just ingenious, So here a few examples from the site

That's the printing method for the iPad, I'm sorry but whoever came up with this deserves a bun or medal or both because its just brilliant.

That is just designed to confuse I think.

That is the budget way of adding atmosphere and ambiance to a room. But with an empty milk carton

For any teachers or Students out there in need of a ruler. I've got to admit I thought using the side of a book in tech drawing was creative. This guy has taken it to a whole other level.

That's there are so many other photos on they and you can find some real gems on that site.

This is a pretty new site which is very simple. All you do is log in using facebook twitter email openid whatever, then tell the world what you like or dislike. There is a slider on the page that you select like or dislike on write in exactly what it is. At the side then you can see what are most popular. So peoples favourite things at the moment include: Bacon, Music, Firefox and Dogs. Whilst some of the most disliked things at the moment are: Politics, Winter, Iceland and School. Its very simple yet very interesting,

Any regular user of the Internet will have at some stage come across a "Downfall" parody video. This is from the German video "Downfall" where Hitler is in the Bunkers in Berlin giving out and over the years people have changed the subtitling along the bottom so as its like he's complaining about up to date events, everything from Xbox live accounts to Michael Jackson's death. These videos have had millions of views and both the Director and Writer of the film have loved all of the attention it has garnered for them. But now Celestin productions, who made the film, have added the clip to Youtube's, Content ID list, which means any video uploaded recognised with the clip will be removed.... Now there was a video about this whole debacle that had about 100 thousand views before getting removed


There have been some changes this week, the most notable being the fact that there no longer is a "become a fan button" it now says "like" on pages. facebook says this is to keep the language of the site altogether far more cohesive. Lets face in real life you wouldn't say I am a fan of "tea" you'd say I like it. Now with all change there has been plenty of opposition but I reckon its falling on deaf ears guys we'll just all have to get used to it.

A new site that was set up in one evening called works as a trend feed, like on twitter except for facebook links. What it does is keeps together all of the popular links people are sending each other on facebook. Because this is so new it could become absolutely massive and a central part of facebook or just die personally I think it will spread like wildfire.

This is Trending

Some groups for the week that has passed:

Ash is disrupting flight plans? Surely that's more of a Team Rocket thing...

who's laughing at peter griffins volcano insurance now huh?

Luckily, my Nimbus 2000 can fly through volcanic ash.

and randomly

I stepped on a corn flake, now I'm a cereal killer


First off today in Celeb news is somebodies birthday today and that is Jason Earles who plays Jackson the teenage brother in Hannah Montana, Why is this so interesting? because he is 33.

Jedward to unveil guitar talent

Apparently Jedward are guitarists. This has come out after they had a pair of unique guitars made for them with Irish flags on by the Scottish company "Freshman Guitars" They have made guitars for Steven Seagal and Kelly Clarkson in the past. The specially made instruments have already been used by the boys on the sell-out X Factor tour.

Sean Kelly, who made the guitars for Jedward, said he was shocked by their musical prowess. The pair played tracks by Green Day while visiting the company's base. Mr Kelly said: "They got two guitars and they both play them. Apparently John was learning by ear in the shop

Lady GaGa

is close to signing a deal to appear as a guest judge on The X Factor this summer, a report claims. She appeared on the show last year but because Dannii is away for the auditions stage due to pregnancy the creators are lining up a series of guest judges this year. It has been reported that she will receive in excess of 100 grand for doing it. But It's Lady Gaga she'll draw a massive audience

Usher's hit Omg

He's saying that he got his inspiration from crowds at football matches. He said he knew it would be a hit in Europe because everyone would relate to it like at a football match. And he credits Black Eyed Peas star, who raps on OMG, with helping him score a hit. He says, "The chants were born in France and sampled by but as soon as I heard them, I thought, 'This sounds like an English football game.' Working with Wil.I.Am is nearly always going to spring a hit though, everything he touches musically turns to gold.

Weird news

A survey carried out around this week by EBS has revealed that kids doing their first holy communion will be getting less cash this year due to the recession. The average amount perceived as being appropriate to give a child making their first communion has fallen in the past 12 months to 37 euros from 50 euros last year. It is estimated that a child will receive on average more than 300 euros for the occasion. Another change is that apparently two thirds plan on saving their money this year in comparison to 42 percent last year. Is it me or is the money they are getting crazy? I want to do mine again.

Girl wakes from coma, speaks German

After 24 hours in a coma, a Croatian girl woke up speaking only German, according to reports that spread across the Internet last week. The 13-year-old had been studying German in school and watching German television shows on her own, according to various versions of the story, but she was not fluent until after the incident. Meanwhile, she lost the ability to speak her native language. Experts have said the story is very probable and the girl must have bilingual aphasia. This is where different languages are stored in different parts of the brain and one centre gets damaged., (just think of Sun in Lost) Pretty crazy though all the same.

Weird headline: N. Dakota twin sisters ask twin brothers to prom

Follow me on Twitter

Now some funny pics to finish off, enjoy.

Monday, April 12, 2010

12/04/10 The weird headline finally got a mention!

For some reason we were extra chatty this week

This is possibly the most fun thing I have found online lately. Real world racer is a site designed on google earth where you can race against a computer along the images of streets and roads. You can enter the points of any two places in the world and race between them against the computer. Now you will reach ridiculous speeds and you will beat the opposition but racing against your own best times is interesting. There are cool tracks already programmed onto the site like around the rock of gibralter or by Bondi beach in Sydney, or you could just enter two points in Ireland where the google imaging is good and race there. I found it especially fun racing around city streets recognising landmarks from above. is next. This site won't actually make you babies but will let you see hypothetically what the child of the people whos picture you upload to the site could look like. Now future parents out there this is not genetically acurate if you upload potential father and mothers picture, you're child will probably look nothing like the image you'll get. But on the plus side you can see what reproducing with celebs could look like. For example I completely randomly picked Angelina Jolie to see what our child could look like

Now I know she has loads all ready but if your watching Angie, thats what it would look like.

it works by mixing the facial aspects of the two pictures and mashing them together cutting out the 9 months and responsibility that comes with the classic method. ANybody out there who wants an effective way of splitting up with their boyfriend this will work, "This is what our child WILL look like." Also available as an Iphone app.
Is a site by a guy called Kutiman who makes videos out of mixing random youtube videos and musical tutorials together. Like this one to have a look at all the other videos he has made. and you can find all of the original videos there too

Two guys called Colm and Martin were on the show a while back. There travelling around europe, 16 cities 20 days. Finding out what it means to be european. Check out the site to follow their blogs and videos from their daily tasks.

entertain me!

5. People who investigate strange noises in horror movies deserve to die

4. I didn't know Twinkle Twinkle little star has the same tune as the Alphabet.
(what came first, just got lazy and picked a tune that kids would know, or was the situation like father ted at "song for ireland" where they get in the lift and their song is already playing)

3. I hate when you're hanging out with Wally and he goes missing.
(or waldo as the americans call him)

2. For those who have felt the pain of stepping on an upside down plug!!

1. running for the laptop charger like its the end of the world.
(I always do this, it always just dies as I get it)

Celeb Link

Leona Lewis has apparently just recorded a duet for upcoming film sex and the city 2 with Jennifer Hudson. This song is said to be the main theme song to the feature. This is so as to appeal to both the Us and UK audiences. It looks like she's the new girl to call on if you've got a movie that needs a sound track after James Cameron used her "I see you" song for Avatar and "Happy" is used in "Precious" Surprisingly though neither of them got Oscar shortlisted. But its good to see someone from a reality talent show after getting somewhere 4 years on.

Amanda Holden, The Britains got Talent Judge has revealed that she is considering releasing a country music album. She's after filming a special about 'country music on her show and has fallen in love with it. She's sang in Nashville, the home of country music. And she's now in talks to release an Lp. But I think there will be loads of stories this week about people associated with BGT because its back next week and they seem to be craving attention.

Donald Trump has confessed that he is a fan of Lady GaGa. The multi multi multi loaded business man has said he'd love Lady G to appear on celebrity Apprentice, his show. He went to see her live and now reckons that if he managed to get her on the show, she would win hands down because she is so driven

Weird News

RSC are reinacting Romeo and Juliet in the modern age over the next 5 weeks via twitter. They are limited to 140characters so end up having quotes like “jules is over an out xxx.” At the moment Tybalt is at risk of expulsion from school.

Two Chinese
singers have become the first people in the country to fall foul of new rules banning lip-synching nearly two years after widespread criticism of miming at the Beijing Olympics' opening ceremony. Both of them have been fined around €7000 each. Its a bit weird though that the first convictions were brought against small singers instead someone global like Brintney Spears.

is made literally in any flavour you want and thats not just in Charlie and chocolate factory or my dreams. Some of the wide variety can be a bit strange though. An Edinburgh based chocolatier has released Haggis flavoured chocolate. The dish which is made from Sheeps heart Liver and lungs, can now be enjoyed in a handy bite size bar. Apparently its quite popular, I don't know if I'll be digging into a bar anytime soon though
Weird Headline: Ferocious Feline: Posties Scared Off By Cat
As always a few funnies, follow me on twitter.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

05/04/10 Viral vids, facts and quotes
Is a site that deals with all things music related. Its a great way to watch music videos and discover new music while supporting your favourite bands, because all artists featured on the site get a share of the revenue generated from advertising.
They have some really cool features like the Jukebox where you can search an artist create and save a playlist and then send it over facebook to friends, or some people use it for parties and the like. Best of all this is an Irish website which is hoping to take on all those big video sites out there like youtube.

5 second films was a concept back in 2005 by Brian Firenzi. What they do is make 5 seond films with 2 seconds for titles and 1 second for credits. They have hundreds of videos online and these are some of my favourites. Now remember its only 5 seconds so you have to pay attention and almost create a scenario around the story in your head.

First up is "Remote"

This ones called "remember the day before yesterday"

They're really funny. Theres an new one out every week day and at 5 seconds they don't waste much of your time.


Ok so this is from a youtuber called mysteryguitarman, who can make music out of anything or look like he is anyway, Still very cool. This is the start of one of his latest videos.

Thats suspiciously like the opening to Mgmt's time to pretend. That video has 1 million views. Infact his channel has over 600 thousand subscribers and 53 million views. He's one of the top consistant youtubers out there so check him out.

Everyone has heard th line "the customer is always right" well over at the site " they contradict this notion very convincingly. Its a website for anybody who has ever had the pleasure of working in retail, service or other public-facing jobs. To vent their rage by publicicing the stupidity from the public. Anybody can log on and post up there experiences here. Theres 1000's of entried there already and like any good site you can follow them on facebook and twitter.
Examples of some of the posts online include.

Customer: “Yeah, can I get extra butter?”

Coworker:: “Actually the butter is self-serve on the sides of concession. You can help yourself, ma’am.”


Coworker:: “Please don’t hurt me!”

Some of the examples on here are so ridiculous, if I was working in the store I'd swear I was on hidden camera

(A man walks into our crowded coffee shop and yells at the top of his lungs.)


Supervisor: “Oh no, it’s a robbery!” *begins to call security*

Man: “…on the DANCE FLOOR!”

(The man then “dances” up to the front, past shocked customers, grabs a bottle of water, and “dances” out of the store. Security nabs him outside the door.)

Its an addictive and neccessary website for anyone dealing with the public, plus it lets me put on voices.

If like me you pride yourself on knowing the randomess pieces
of cool, but useless information then you have to check out There are new interesting facts being out online constantly, you cn follow them on twitter to keep up.

So I asked Stephen did he know any of the following.

->A single human blood cell takes only 60 seconds to make a complete circuit of the body

->In many advertisements, people's clocks are set to 10:10.
so it looks like a smile

->Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

->Shakespeare wrote about one-tenth of the most quotable quotations

->24 hours of video is uploaded to YouTube every minute.

->The name "Stephen Byrne" is searched 4 million times an hour worldwide. Well strictly speaking thats completely made up, but the others are true so check it out. They're cool and random and make you look clever.

Facebook has 5 groups that are interesting

5. I've never actually seen someone slip on a banana peel!
(apart from in comics and cartoons)

4. greatest game ever: DON'T LET THE BALLOON TOUCH THE FLOOR
(I cannot touch a balloon without doing this, its universal)

3. that split second of fear when you lean back too far in your chair.
(luckily these chairs don't lean back)

2. "You're not invited to my birthday party" A classic childhood comeback
(well Stephen isn't anyway)

1. Naming your iPod "The Titanic" so it says "The Titanic is syncing."
(when synchronising with your computer)

Cheers for Reading as always you can follow me on twitter: _ilikeshorts

And for those of you who have read this far here are some good pics stolen from respective sites.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

A Guide to Facebook Groups and stuck-in-head-songs

Guide to Facebook groups.

Ok so hey. On the show I cover my beloved facebook groups. So after a while looking at the different ones out there and with my hatred of those "join to see the picture" ones in hand I went about trying to create a succesful one of my own. Now the problem with a group is that you have to decide how much of the world you want to be able to join it. If your group has something to do with your own town or county, then you know that you are limiting yourself.

1. So first things first pick something that at least the bulk of your country could relate to.
Not eg. "don't you just love Ballybackendofnowhere"

2. Nostalgia, people are nostalgic pick something from childhood.
"remember when you were 8", "join if you were once younger than you are now"

3. People like to think they're normal (most aren't) so choose something that everybody does
eg. "using the toilet" or "I hate queues"

4. Would you go to the effort of clicking "become a fan" if you saw this group?
Seriously, is it worthy of the extra energy required to click a mouse? For "Wind is cool"

5. If you join this group; will other people think something strange about you?eg. "Toe nail clippings", "Who needs shampoo??"

6. Punctuation, its a personal decision whether you go mad or mensa.
eg. "I love pie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" or "ROFLOL giraffes xXx_!!???"

7. The randomer the better, if Seth Macfarlane has taught us anything its that people love random.
"Did you know 1+1=2" or "Birds might be able to fly but dogs can pick stuff up with their teeth"

[If you actually go to the effort of creating a group with one of my examples (why?); at least link to my blog in info.]

So I decided to use this knowledge to create some groups. I will admit though they havent been the most succesful but then again Yoda wasn't a great Jedi (dam he was). Ok so my groups haven't been that succesful heres a list of them with their creation date and current number of fans.

1. "Silencing alarms by any means possible"

This was my first group from way back in january. I will admit that I do only have 1 fan (me) But this was more of a tester group more than anything else. Although saying that, I wouldn't refuse a couple of fans at least.

"This is the real Barneys"

I know what your thinking (well maybe not exactly). But this group was set up with the intention of bad grammer (I swear). After coming across a million and one groups with bad grammer, that each had hundreds of thousands of fans; I thought why not have a go. At the moment I have around 300 fans so thats pretty good. Its only set up with about a month

If you are a grammer nazi and want to point out my own use of bad grammer in a segment about bad grammer plaease send a self addressed envelope to

William Shakespeare
Co. Kerry

So he might not be buried there, but he was rubbish at grammer too and I learned from him so.... the similarities between our writings are obviously uncanny. "To eat or not to eat?"

"That girl from the Barrys Tea ad is gone over a year now Search party?"

Probably my proudest moment in group creation history. You know the ad, the girls are off to Thailand and then around the world for a year and they are bringing tea with them. Now I don't know about you; but when I saw this ad I was expecting regular updates on her whereabouts so I could mark her route out on google maps and then stalk her incase our paths met. But no! Obviously the people in advertising felt that we hadn't made a connection with her, I had. After months of waiting I finally saw a Barrys ad coming on, this was going to be it, finally I'd know if she was alive, or had ended up in the back end of the outback somewhere living off of Kangaroos. To my utter dismay it was the same ad. Now I remember that first ad coming on TV somewhere around the 13th of Febuary 2009. March 2010 comes along and she's still "only going". I knew after witnessing this that a cover up must be taking place, but of what? My mind wandered what if this girl never actually existed? Could advertising just be a work of fiction? Do I NOT have wings after Red Bull? I set about contacting The agency who had displayed this documentary on our television screens. They claimed that she was just an actor and she never really went away. Thats when it finally dawned on me, all this time I had been mistaken, mislead and just misunderstood. This wasn't a cover up at all by Barrys. It was a cover up by a competing tea company! Obviously they didn't like how she was spreading the news of Barrys around the world. Were they paying her off? or had she been made dissappear? Which company could it be there is so many of them. The supermarket value brands were crossed off of my list straight away leaving but a few competitors. I had a main suspect though, it was their main competitors, a company which would be kept in the "Big Cat" enclosure at the Zoo (if spelt wrongly). I will not name them however for my investigation is still ongoing. I know one thing now though she is still alive. She is the "Wally" of the Tea industry and also their worst skeleton, when will she come out of that crypt like closet, no one knows. But she will eventually, because this group is on her tail. Thanks to some of the nearly 300 members so far, we have managed to asceratain that she is on the move, having been sighted in places from Bankok to the Bahamas, we will succeed. Even a picture of her has been discovered through our members hard work. You can help us too by joining the cause. Remember, next time the tea industry wants to document your travels for advertising purposes BE AWARE. Contact us, because we have plans to infiltrate their operation and blow this whole thing wide open.

(anything said or mentioned in the previous paragraph cannot be taken literally, especially to all of you tea execs out there)


Does anyyone else think that the commercials for this crowd manage to find some of the catchiest songs ou there. I mean anyone who's seen the ads over the last few years has thouught "all these highs and lows" song was made by Satan himself. Don't get me wrong, I love the song and when I'm on a mountain or near some of the many white water river kayakers its all I can think of. But thats just the problem. I couldn't get it out of my head. Now the band may have split up and reformed with different member but all I can thin of is "is that a high or a low" then again it doesn't really matter which it is because they live for both. The song came on the radio, all of a sudden I got the urge to go to the beaches of west Kerry, or the mountains of Mourne or somewhere away from popular civilisation whilst staying near people from cities and towns. Dear god that came across wrong, but you know what I mean, I'm even from one of these places where you get more tourists than locals there during the summer season.
Which brings me on to this years ad. Back in February I was at a gig and this bamd called "The Heathers" I thought they were good but like most gigs you go to you forget most of the who played what and how everything went down. But then I got a surprise I started hearing pieces of a song over and over in my head, you could say I remembered (sorry sad pun). So on to the interweb I went and started searching, I came across the song "Remember when", listened to it then forced everyone i lived with to listen to it too. Practically a few days later on comes the ad, I was shouting I was like look I told you its ridiculously catchy. Now its stuck in the same place as "highs and lows" and the song from 'Aladin' "I can show you the world, shining shimmering fences" I know its not fences but that would be a pretty amazing disney easter egg. If shining shimmering fences existed that would also be cool, but dazzling for animals, haha. Yes so to conclude this segment the moral of the story is. If uses your song then you have a pretty catchy song, Good for you!

Heathers - Remember When - Live At MUZU Studios on MUZU

April fools joke

So april fools day is gone and everyone has there different stories and rules. "ugh you can't do it after 12 in the day" well to you I say, what if your not up till afterwards, I prefer to optimise for the hours that I am awake, then bam 11.59 at night catch them. Google, this year, actualy fooled people with their "animal translator" some of the other good ones I saw involved statues of the Queen being erected in Cobh. But this year the piece de resistance, the creme of the crop or whatever you want to call it "a good one" came from the weather. Yep the weather had been planning its prank long before the rest of us. Throughout December and January it messed with our lives and broke bones (including the guy on the news) but this was all only a threat so that come April 1st it could snow. I saw it with my own eyes, snow on the mountains. To many it was like the first movements of a war as if at any moment it would run down the mountain and get us all! but it didn't. Like any good april fools prank its bite was worse than its bark. Oh I hope I'm not speaking too soon.

Follow me on twitter: _ilikeshorts

As always, if your reading this (Mom) well done heres a few funnies as a reward.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

29/03/10 Weirdos coughing, The IBAs and the danager twins.

Apartment Red

This thursday is April fools day. Apartment Red the online series that starts Twotube eachday and who Stephen is involved with, are planning a massive april fools prank. They're after releasing a single called "sounds of a man coughing gently over samba music" The idea is to get to high in the charts and prank the nation. All funds raised from sales of the single go to the charity "" and there's cool prizes for those who do the most promoting. Thats why I'm doing this, I must have the merch!!!!!

Irish Blog Awards.

The IBAs were on in Galway over the weekend. The awards, which are voted for by the public in a variety of different categories. There was 900 blogs nominated and some of the winners were. was the winner of the overall blog award for a third year in a row. This is a beauty website playing on the pun of beauty/ie. They test out new products and have all the latest baragains from around the country. Check out the site because I'm not very much up on the whole beauty side of things. won best popculture blog award. A guy called Darren Byrne runs the site with a few other contributers who each write about their own niches. They have music, movie and gig reviews as well as competitions and lots of other cool things. got best music blog award for the fourth year in a row. He has playlists albums, single and gig reviews. He's also just back from the SXSW musical festival. So check him out too.

For all of the results from the night, click here.

Five Facebook fancies.

5.I Have A Zombie Apocalypse Plan.
(I can't tell anyonr incase they turn into a Zombie)
[Stephen calls it a Z-day plan I have assured him he is not cool enough to say that]

4."I see you've played knifey spooney before"
(Simpsons quote)

3. Who is shawty? Apparently she has a lot of rapper boyfriends
(She gets low low, and attends parties)

2. I hate it when someone comes over and I have to put pants on.
(As Lisa Simpson says in 21.16 "the man hates pants")

(For all those who have ever, or are at the moment studying irish)
1. Léigh anois go cúramach ar do scrúdpháipéar na treoracha agus na ceisteanna
(Everyone repeats it in class)

My Celeb and weird news findings.

The GORILLAZ are back and with more marketing gimicks. This time they have created an online game on their website, where fans get to play a few levels escaping from their headquarters for free, before paying an additional 1.50. But they will get to download their upcoming single "Superfast Jellyfish" ahead of the May 9th release date. So not all greedy, but they are clever.

It's been reported that Jordan or Katie Price is selling her 2.5 million mansion, because she believes her sunbed is haunted. Infact the house is apparently being haunted by a pair of ghosts, a man and a woman. Jordan is freaked out. She's after having psychics in and her husband Alex Reid has claimed he saw the "ghost" upstairs too. Then again she might just want to get away from the place where Peter André and her lived.

Miley Cyrus, another celeb with an alter ego confirmed that she is planning to stop making music. She's said that she has become disillusioned with the music industry, and wants to focus more on her acting career. Now she is only after doing two movies outside of "Hannah Montana" which has been axed, so she 's taking a big risk. Her upcoming album is out in June and she's claiming it'll be her last. But you can be sure if things in the film industry start going bad for her, we'll see her back in the recording studio.


Members of an Egyptian family have been using paper and pencils for communications for 11 years after the head of the family found a listening device in their apartment.
The bug was apparently installed by Muhammad's first wife. The man moved to a new apartment after that but the bugs moved with him and the family decided to use notes for communication when at home. His six-year-old daughter had to learn to write early.
After eleven years, they got sick and tired of writing letters to each other and turned for help to specialists only when Muhammad's ex-wife died. Unfortunately for them it has emerged that the bug was actually a fake all along.

A school which has changed its starting time to 10am in England has improved attendance. The extra hour in bed has meant general absence has has dropped 8% while long term absenteeism has dropped 27%. This was started in October as a test and might possibly become standard soon there. I know a lot of people who'll be very happy if this goes mainstream.

Have you ever been in a situation where somebody has said to you "thats really dangerous" and you've wanted to say or you have said "shur my middle name is danger." Well two Australian twins will be able to quiten all those literalists out there, because both Billie and Ridley Lampard have the middle name "Danger". Their parents are calling them the danger twins. They're less than a week old. Not everyone is convinced though as they've received mixed reaction from family and friends over it. They're not the first to do it though because former Australian rugby international, Matt Rogers 3 year old son's middle name is danger

Remember you can follow me on Twitter _ilikeshorts

Cheers for reading to here. Now for an entertaining picture or two.

Monday, March 22, 2010

22/03/10 the week of the luminous yellow tie

A geeky day in geeksville for me
This is a witty guide to life in general provided by an engineering graduate in America. He writes practical advise on a blackboard and puts the pictures up on this site. With nearly 600 entries so far, you have plenty lessons to live your life by.
eg. You smell all manly means either "Nice colgne" or "Take a shower", or “Celebration of Irish culture plus ignorance of irish culture = stereotyping”

Most people will have heard of situations where an automatic translater program doesn't always work perfectly. On you can check out tons of examples of poor translation from the sign in the dentists office saying "don't scream" to the warning sign that reads "drowning accidents are now popular" Or the city welcome sign which says "the metropolis infested with foreign adventurers"

-At a pier instead of saying “beware of drowning,” it said "drowning accidents are now popular"

-Or the city welcome sign which instead of saying “tourist centre” it says "the metropolis infested with foreign adventurers"

-Instead of saying “don’t put paper in the toilet” it said “don’t feed the toilet”

-Instead of “no smoking” it said “non-smoking allowed

If you've ever found something that you thought was really cool like a note or an old picture then is the site for you. Everyday a picture of a new find is posted. These include private notes people have sent to each other. Like one which said "on average a giraffes tongue is 22 inches long"

“mom the toilet over flowed, Don’t worry”

“your car is ugly”

“I ate the chocolate cake”

Facebook 5

5. Speaking of pirate change your language setting to english (pirate) to see your friends become "shipmates" and account becoming an "arrrcount"

4. The urge to stand up and shout THIS IS SPARTA! when it's all queit in exams

3. Using Terrible Puns

2. The shin: a body part used to find furniture in the dark

1. My email address is stupid because i made it when i was 11.

Some of these include: momma64@.... happyaslarry@..... michaeljacksonstolemybaby@....

Follow: me on twitter _ilikeshorts

Celeb and Weird Link

Freida Pinto of 'Slumdog millionaire' fame is after landing the new Bond girl part according to reports. This will be the 23rd bond flick, She'll be starring alonside Daniel Craig for it. Sam Mendes, who is in the news for his split from Kate Winslet suring the week, is set to direct it. While Peter Morgan, the writer of 'The Queen' is writing it. As usual for Bond girls this will be a fairy raunchy role and Freida's boyfriend Dev Patel of skins fame has said he is cool with seeing reida rolling around with 007.

P-Diddy AKA Sean Combs is in talks to buy Crystal Palace football team. The Championshipside are in trouble and could get relegated next year but apparently Diddy doesn't care. He has fallen for the club and wants to be with them no matter what happens. He now knows how much it'll cost to buy so its just a matter of time before we hear if there will be a new playa's lounge at palace.

Oasis' Liam Gallagher obviously hasn't met many people after he said this over the weekend.

"I have never seen a U2 fan. I have never seen anyone with a U2 shirt or been around someone's house that has a f**king U2 record. Where do their fans f**king come from? Where are they? I reckon they buy them. With all the money they've made, they just bought a load of people and every time they do a gig they get a shovel and pile them into their gigs to make them look good."

I guess he won't be collaberating with them anytime soon.

Simon Cowell is to give Susan Boyle a £4MILLION birthday present. Britain's Got Talent singer Boyle will get the massive royalty payout in time for her 49th on April 1. She has sold more than 8.5million copies of her I Dreamed A Dream album since last November.
Her friends reckon the first thing she'll do with the money is buy a new house in Bathgate West Lothian. She's also planning on launching her own clothing range with a new tartan design. Apparently "She has been living on an allowance from Simon but payday's here and it's the first of many." I thought she'd gotten paid already but apparently this is the first time shes has the money in her bank. What a nice start off bank account it is.

The police in the US are after deciding to change from their current cop cars to those used in, wait for it ROBOCOP! Thats right the Ford Taurus from Robocop which has never been made since the film is about to be rolled out. Its going to be faster stronger and way cooler then the current cars with fitted computer systems, V6 engines and 365 Brake horse power. If you want to get your hands on one of these beasts, youre going to have to join the police because the 45,000 being made every year won't be available for bad guys or us common citizens.

Barrack Obama settled a bet he made about the winter olympics with the Canadian prime minister. He lost 2 cases of beer thanks to the American hockey teams loss in the competition and so had to hand over the goods. The PM said the beer would be going on display in the Hockey hall of fame.

Weird headline: Colorado skunk's head freed from peanut butter jar

Now to keep you entertained, heres a humerous pic stolen from

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

From the train

Pre-apologies to anybody reading this

To decipher anything below you should know everything in brackets is my brain questioning and critisising what I say, (why'd i write that I'm sure its understandable)

I mentioned on mondays show that my laptop had crashed recently and I'd had lost everything. Well its worse than that because now I'm on a train and its useless. Normally watching videos or doing work passes away the near 3 hours of sitting down to cork, but not today. I thought after rebooting everything would be fine again but I HAVE NO DRIVER! these are those invisible things that come with every bought laptop, I though " oh sure how bad can it be without a few of those things" the answer is very. Firstly I cant use Usb sticks no ability to transfer files whatsoever, secondly I'm not able to upload pics from my sd card which is a pain, and worst of all I have lost nearly every program except for the basics and Windows media player doesn't come standard with the ability to play DVDs I mean what are they at, Its nearly 10 years since DVDs became the standard for video playback, I wouldn't expect to buy a vcr and have to go online and take forever downloading something that makes it able to read tape. Why isn't it standard. I thought I was being very smart even up to a couple of minutes ago (I'm on the train) when I decided to bring 'Pulp Fiction' along with me. A dvd will have to work, well it doesn't. Now I don't want to admit defeat and actually go to a computer repair place or get it done professionaly, (I reckon thats just out of pure stubborness) But I am after downloading two different automatic driver repairer programs aswell as countless attempts at getting driver off of the HP website itself, Oh ya its HP (heap of poop) Ok so I could have probably come up with something better than that but thats what it has become. All this backing up talk reminds me I should save this before it crashes again.------Job saved now to continue with my rant. "Why why why???" I find myself asking it everyday now. But no matter how long I plea with it, she just refuses to work, (Woah my first time giving my laptop a gender). Anyway that rant didn't solve anything and I feel like I'm waiting on the "death row" of slowness just waiting for the bluescreen of death.

The worst thing about this post is that I won't be posting it till I get home and will have calmed down by then, I'll have to restrain myself from editing relentlessly, (My old english teacher wouldn't be too happy with this)

Sooo the show and stuff, we finally managed to put up an episode on youtube for all of Stephens crazy fans and it has something like 1500 hits so far, (If you are one of these individuals then I appologise because you are one of my few readers at the moment), which I have got to say I'm taking half credit for even though evidently the only views there to see me were the 3 different times I narcasistically looked at myself on it. I'm not going to deny it I do try and watch every weeks episode afterwards, but in my defence "Its to learn from my mistakes" ya right I just want to see myself on telly. But who wouldn't, you always hear of people going "I never watch myself" like Johnny Depp, because me and Johnny are so similar(thats right first name terms) haha I wish.

RANDOM train thought #1: If you are ever getting the dublin to cork train, never get the 5 o clock, its very crowded.I like the six none of the hassle and always a free plug socket.

RANDOM train thought #2: Dont fall asleep on the train with other people around you will either be ridiculed or when you wake up you will be surrounded (true story)

RANDOM train thought #3: Call your random train thoughts your "thought of train", haha like "train of thought" get it? (sorry thats sad)

RANDOM train thought #4: The automatic doors between carraiges aren't always very automatic, I wouldn't advise running at them

RANDOM train thought #5: Its 147 steps from where I'm sitting to the food carraige, think ahead!

Anyone who has seen the show and reads this (I dont think there is many/any) will think I am obsessed with the number five and lists containing 5 entries, well I think its all sub-conscience from when I was younger, I used listen to a show that had a "Late and live top 5" every night, I only just realised this the other day. Still nothing wrong with lists of five, everyone has lists of 5 or 3 its like some insane obsession with prime numbers I never heard of a list containing 104,729
 entries before (look it up, its prime, I'm such a geek!)

Getting back to the whole 'death of a laptop thing' I'm actually writing this on "WordPad" now its not great but it does, infact I think its a very underrated program,

Which reminds me, (somehow, how does that remind me?)
Corresepondance with television shows. It can be both good and bad, on "Twotube" you can upload vlogs of your opinions about the music thats reviewed, On "Red" they get loads of fanmail (like sweets and stuff, seriously hmmm Twotube could do with that) on "Family Guy" they get complaints and lots of them. Now I'm a fan and I've seen some extremely offensive things on the show, depending on your views, But this clip below has gotten the most complaints in television history, 188,000. The worst thing is, its no where near the worst I've seen. Anyway enjoy it, (i said this at breakfast the other day, it had the same reaction)

So a lot of people online (well a few, at least one) have been asking if guys have to have strange hair to go on twotube. The simple answer is yes. I used have a tight hair cut, Dylan had black hair and Stephen and Dara were bald in their early teens. Mike on the other hand had dread locks.
Of course its not a prerequisite, But yes I have noticed the selection of hair styles around. On the plus its nice that I am the normal one for once. Ya well thats about it on the topic, Just to clarify anything in that paragraph before this can not be taken with any certainty. Infact I just made it up now.

This train trip is really giving me too much time and I know that about only 10% of people (whats 10 percent of 5?) will get past the first sentence. So for those of you who have well done and I reward you with this important message.

Good night safe home and follow my twitter _ilikeshorts.

Monday, March 15, 2010

15/03/10 First live week of the blog

Finally the first week where I am actually writing the blog just after Twotube.

My first internet news today was a bit of shameless self promotion of this very blog. Why would now give you a link to it afterall you're are here, making this paragraph a bit pointless. So my first actual website is down there .......................... I <---Thats an awful attempt at an arrow............................v
After recently losing everything in my laptops crash, I have become obsessed with back ups; and thats what this website does for your twitter account. In case twitter disappears and you want to be able to keep your many 140 charcater pieces of wisdom.

Some funny twitter posts I've seen.

"apartmentRED- Roses are red violets are blue 4 8 15 16 23 42"

"Sarah Silverman- Diarrhea would be a beautiful name if it didn't mean diarrhea"

Ok well i can only think of that now but I swear I'll put up more before the next eclipse.
If you think you've taken some strange family photos;then have a look at this site. Here they are dedicated to finding the most awkward and funny family photos over the years. These are the kind of pictures you see and just know that some or most of the people in it either despise the pose they're make or each other. You can expect to see matching outfits in strange locations with weird faces on this site. Luckily I haven't had to endure the cringe factor involved in every photo here.

Was there any need to wear the outfits, like thats a daily thing. The couple on the right are funny somebodys mommy is very attached.

AAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHHHH! leave the cat alone. This guy wants to be a bond villian. Lasers are you serious.
Apart from eggular shaped chocolate; easter eggs are also hidden messages or features that can be found in films, Tv shows, Games, music and even some books. The site has a huge collection of user submitted easter eggs, across all formats. Shows like "The simpsons" for example when Homer sets up the website to unveil springfields worst secrets, you can actually view that site online now. In films like "Zombieland", which Mike has covered, you can find extra features when using correct combinations in the special features menu.

Look carefully in this shot from Wall-e, thats Rex from toystory hiding between the skittles

Brilliant easter egg from the start of "Fight Club" Your told what to do if you can infact read it

5 Facebook related things

5. I found out today is national "Hug an Engineer Day 2010"

the site to look at if your parents have joined, and see some examples of how awkward it can make things.

3. the point where it is too late to ask what someones name is (Awkward)

2. Making up nicknames for people you don't know but see all the time (Stephen knows a tropical juice guy while I know a leass original Simon)

1. I'm intelligent enough to know that Facebook won't start charging


David Schwimmer AKA Ross from "Friends" who is a serial divorcee is after getting engaged, except in real life. He is after proposing to his girlfriend of 3 yeas, photographer Zoe Buckman. He's now 43 years old and Zoe is only 24 making him old enough to be her father. They met in London in 2007 while he was filming Run Fatboy Run, and they've been together since.

Robert Pattinson has reportedly started travelling with five bodyguards. they were hired while he was filming new movie Remember Me. However, the Twilight star has allegedly decided to keep the bodyguards after he was almost pushed under a car by a group of fans in New York's Union Square. He was pushed off the sidewalk by the sheer number of fans who were trying to get close to him and fell against the door of a moving vehicle. If his clothing had got caught or a foot had gone under the car there's no doubt he would have been dragged along and seriously hurt. It was by pure grace and the quick thinking of his bodygaurds that he survived, the bodyguards reportedly managed to pull him back onto the pavement by grabbing his jacket. It looks like a lot of teenage girls will be very happy now with the very security gaurds who normally keep them away from their dream guy.

Moby the dance star, not the whale, is asking his fans to make the video for his new single Wait For Me. he has launched a competition offering a lucky winner £3,333 for creating the best music promo to accompany the song. entries must be in before April 5th. Two runners up will receive £667.

He doesn't seem alone in this search though because woman I am a big fan of 'Wallis Bird' is also looking for people to send in videos to acompany any part of her upcoming track "An idea about Mary." All details can be found at


















That was my sad attempt at Wallis Bird, at least I didn't go all out with a picture of Moby Dick

Weird wonderful news

After the bad winter the weather has been very tough on roads around Ireland and the world. But a village in Germany is after coming up with a great plan to get their potholes fixed. You can now sponser a pothole for €50 and 111 have already been bought. Since last week people have been able to buy a hole in Niederzimmern near Leipzig.In return the authorities will repair it, and "sponsor" it by putting a personal message on top.
You can choose the right pothole for you on their website

Weird headline: Japanese woman graduates from school at age of 91

If you've gotten this far down the blog then you deserve an award and the only thing i can really give you is this.................... Maybe sure to tell your friends and keep reading

Follow me on twitter _ilikeshorts