29/03/10 Weirdos coughing, The IBAs and the danager twins.

Apartment Red


This thursday is April fools day. Apartment Red the online series that starts Twotube eachday and who Stephen is involved with, are planning a massive april fools prank. They're after releasing a single called "sounds of a man coughing gently over samba music" The idea is to get to high in the charts and prank the nation. All funds raised from sales of the single go to the charity "reachout.com" and there's cool prizes for those who do the most promoting. Thats why I'm doing this, I must have the merch!!!!!




Irish Blog Awards.

The IBAs were on in Galway over the weekend. The awards, which are voted for by the public in a variety of different categories. There was 900 blogs nominated and some of the winners were.


beaut.ie was the winner of the overall blog award for a third year in a row. This is a beauty website playing on the pun of beauty/ie. They test out new products and have all the latest baragains from around the country. Check out the site because I'm not very much up on the whole beauty side of things.


Culch.ie won best popculture blog award. A guy called Darren Byrne runs the site with a few other contributers who each write about their own niches. They have music, movie and gig reviews as well as competitions and lots of other cool things.


nialler9.com got best music blog award for the fourth year in a row. He has playlists albums, single and gig reviews. He's also just back from the SXSW musical festival. So check him out too.


For all of the results from the night, click here.


Five Facebook fancies.

5.I Have A Zombie Apocalypse Plan.
(I can't tell anyonr incase they turn into a Zombie)
[Stephen calls it a Z-day plan I have assured him he is not cool enough to say that]

4."I see you've played knifey spooney before"
(Simpsons quote)

3. Who is shawty? Apparently she has a lot of rapper boyfriends
(She gets low low, and attends parties)

2. I hate it when someone comes over and I have to put pants on.
(As Lisa Simpson says in 21.16 "the man hates pants")


(For all those who have ever, or are at the moment studying irish)
1. Léigh anois go cúramach ar do scrúdpháipéar na treoracha agus na ceisteanna
(le chuid A, BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!)
(Everyone repeats it in class)





My Celeb and weird news findings.


The GORILLAZ are back and with more marketing gimicks. This time they have created an online game on their website, gorillaz.com where fans get to play a few levels escaping from their headquarters for free, before paying an additional 1.50. But they will get to download their upcoming single "Superfast Jellyfish" ahead of the May 9th release date. So not all greedy, but they are clever.






It's been reported that Jordan or Katie Price is selling her 2.5 million mansion, because she believes her sunbed is haunted. Infact the house is apparently being haunted by a pair of ghosts, a man and a woman. Jordan is freaked out. She's after having psychics in and her husband Alex Reid has claimed he saw the "ghost" upstairs too. Then again she might just want to get away from the place where Peter André and her lived.






Miley Cyrus, another celeb with an alter ego confirmed that she is planning to stop making music. She's said that she has become disillusioned with the music industry, and wants to focus more on her acting career. Now she is only after doing two movies outside of "Hannah Montana" which has been axed, so she 's taking a big risk. Her upcoming album is out in June and she's claiming it'll be her last. But you can be sure if things in the film industry start going bad for her, we'll see her back in the recording studio.





Weird



Members of an Egyptian family have been using paper and pencils for communications for 11 years after the head of the family found a listening device in their apartment.
The bug was apparently installed by Muhammad's first wife. The man moved to a new apartment after that but the bugs moved with him and the family decided to use notes for communication when at home. His six-year-old daughter had to learn to write early.
After eleven years, they got sick and tired of writing letters to each other and turned for help to specialists only when Muhammad's ex-wife died. Unfortunately for them it has emerged that the bug was actually a fake all along.



A school which has changed its starting time to 10am in England has improved attendance. The extra hour in bed has meant general absence has has dropped 8% while long term absenteeism has dropped 27%. This was started in October as a test and might possibly become standard soon there. I know a lot of people who'll be very happy if this goes mainstream.






Danger
Have you ever been in a situation where somebody has said to you "thats really dangerous" and you've wanted to say or you have said "shur my middle name is danger." Well two Australian twins will be able to quiten all those literalists out there, because both Billie and Ridley Lampard have the middle name "Danger". Their parents are calling them the danger twins. They're less than a week old. Not everyone is convinced though as they've received mixed reaction from family and friends over it. They're not the first to do it though because former Australian rugby international, Matt Rogers 3 year old son's middle name is danger




Remember you can follow me on Twitter _ilikeshorts

Cheers for reading to here. Now for an entertaining picture or two.

22/03/10 the week of the luminous yellow tie

A geeky day in geeksville for me

http://www.survivingtheworld.net/
This is a witty guide to life in general provided by an engineering graduate in America. He writes practical advise on a blackboard and puts the pictures up on this site. With nearly 600 entries so far, you have plenty lessons to live your life by.
eg. You smell all manly means either "Nice colgne" or "Take a shower", or “Celebration of Irish culture plus ignorance of irish culture = stereotyping”

http://www.engrish.com/
Most people will have heard of situations where an automatic translater program doesn't always work perfectly. On enrish.com you can check out tons of examples of poor translation from the sign in the dentists office saying "don't scream" to the warning sign that reads "drowning accidents are now popular" Or the city welcome sign which says "the metropolis infested with foreign adventurers"

-At a pier instead of saying “beware of drowning,” it said "drowning accidents are now popular"

-Or the city welcome sign which instead of saying “tourist centre” it says "the metropolis infested with foreign adventurers"

-Instead of saying “don’t put paper in the toilet” it said “don’t feed the toilet”

-Instead of “no smoking” it said “non-smoking allowed

http://www.foundmagazine.com/
If you've ever found something that you thought was really cool like a note or an old picture then www.foundmagazine.com is the site for you. Everyday a picture of a new find is posted. These include private notes people have sent to each other. Like one which said "on average a giraffes tongue is 22 inches long"

“mom the toilet over flowed, Don’t worry”

“your car is ugly”

“I ate the chocolate cake”

Facebook 5

5. Speaking of pirate change your language setting to english (pirate) to see your friends become "shipmates" and account becoming an "arrrcount"

4. The urge to stand up and shout THIS IS SPARTA! when it's all queit in exams

3. Using Terrible Puns

2. The shin: a body part used to find furniture in the dark

1. My email address is stupid because i made it when i was 11.



Some of these include: momma64@.... happyaslarry@..... michaeljacksonstolemybaby@....

Follow: me on twitter _ilikeshorts

Celeb and Weird Link

Freida Pinto of 'Slumdog millionaire' fame is after landing the new Bond girl part according to reports. This will be the 23rd bond flick, She'll be starring alonside Daniel Craig for it. Sam Mendes, who is in the news for his split from Kate Winslet suring the week, is set to direct it. While Peter Morgan, the writer of 'The Queen' is writing it. As usual for Bond girls this will be a fairy raunchy role and Freida's boyfriend Dev Patel of skins fame has said he is cool with seeing reida rolling around with 007.

P-Diddy AKA Sean Combs is in talks to buy Crystal Palace football team. The Championshipside are in trouble and could get relegated next year but apparently Diddy doesn't care. He has fallen for the club and wants to be with them no matter what happens. He now knows how much it'll cost to buy so its just a matter of time before we hear if there will be a new playa's lounge at palace.

Oasis' Liam Gallagher obviously hasn't met many people after he said this over the weekend.

"I have never seen a U2 fan. I have never seen anyone with a U2 shirt or been around someone's house that has a f**king U2 record. Where do their fans f**king come from? Where are they? I reckon they buy them. With all the money they've made, they just bought a load of people and every time they do a gig they get a shovel and pile them into their gigs to make them look good."

I guess he won't be collaberating with them anytime soon.

Simon Cowell is to give Susan Boyle a £4MILLION birthday present. Britain's Got Talent singer Boyle will get the massive royalty payout in time for her 49th on April 1. She has sold more than 8.5million copies of her I Dreamed A Dream album since last November.
Her friends reckon the first thing she'll do with the money is buy a new house in Bathgate West Lothian. She's also planning on launching her own clothing range with a new tartan design. Apparently "She has been living on an allowance from Simon but payday's here and it's the first of many." I thought she'd gotten paid already but apparently this is the first time shes has the money in her bank. What a nice start off bank account it is.

The police in the US are after deciding to change from their current cop cars to those used in, wait for it ROBOCOP! Thats right the Ford Taurus from Robocop which has never been made since the film is about to be rolled out. Its going to be faster stronger and way cooler then the current cars with fitted computer systems, V6 engines and 365 Brake horse power. If you want to get your hands on one of these beasts, youre going to have to join the police because the 45,000 being made every year won't be available for bad guys or us common citizens.

Barrack Obama settled a bet he made about the winter olympics with the Canadian prime minister. He lost 2 cases of beer thanks to the American hockey teams loss in the competition and so had to hand over the goods. The PM said the beer would be going on display in the Hockey hall of fame.

Weird headline: Colorado skunk's head freed from peanut butter jar

Now to keep you entertained, heres a humerous pic stolen from http://www.theinsider.com/

From the train

Pre-apologies to anybody reading this


To decipher anything below you should know everything in brackets is my brain questioning and critisising what I say, (why'd i write that I'm sure its understandable)

I mentioned on mondays show that my laptop had crashed recently and I'd had lost everything. Well its worse than that because now I'm on a train and its useless. Normally watching videos or doing work passes away the near 3 hours of sitting down to cork, but not today. I thought after rebooting everything would be fine again but I HAVE NO DRIVER! these are those invisible things that come with every bought laptop, I though " oh sure how bad can it be without a few of those things" the answer is very. Firstly I cant use Usb sticks no ability to transfer files whatsoever, secondly I'm not able to upload pics from my sd card which is a pain, and worst of all I have lost nearly every program except for the basics and Windows media player doesn't come standard with the ability to play DVDs I mean what are they at, Its nearly 10 years since DVDs became the standard for video playback, I wouldn't expect to buy a vcr and have to go online and take forever downloading something that makes it able to read tape. Why isn't it standard. I thought I was being very smart even up to a couple of minutes ago (I'm on the train) when I decided to bring 'Pulp Fiction' along with me. A dvd will have to work, well it doesn't. Now I don't want to admit defeat and actually go to a computer repair place or get it done professionaly, (I reckon thats just out of pure stubborness) But I am after downloading two different automatic driver repairer programs aswell as countless attempts at getting driver off of the HP website itself, Oh ya its HP (heap of poop) Ok so I could have probably come up with something better than that but thats what it has become. All this backing up talk reminds me I should save this before it crashes again.------Job saved now to continue with my rant. "Why why why???" I find myself asking it everyday now. But no matter how long I plea with it, she just refuses to work, (Woah my first time giving my laptop a gender). Anyway that rant didn't solve anything and I feel like I'm waiting on the "death row" of slowness just waiting for the bluescreen of death.

The worst thing about this post is that I won't be posting it till I get home and will have calmed down by then, I'll have to restrain myself from editing relentlessly, (My old english teacher wouldn't be too happy with this)

Sooo the show and stuff, we finally managed to put up an episode on youtube for all of Stephens crazy fans and it has something like 1500 hits so far, (If you are one of these individuals then I appologise because you are one of my few readers at the moment), which I have got to say I'm taking half credit for even though evidently the only views there to see me were the 3 different times I narcasistically looked at myself on it. I'm not going to deny it I do try and watch every weeks episode afterwards, but in my defence "Its to learn from my mistakes" ya right I just want to see myself on telly. But who wouldn't, you always hear of people going "I never watch myself" like Johnny Depp, because me and Johnny are so similar(thats right first name terms) haha I wish.





RANDOM train thought #1: If you are ever getting the dublin to cork train, never get the 5 o clock, its very crowded.I like the six none of the hassle and always a free plug socket.

RANDOM train thought #2: Dont fall asleep on the train with other people around you will either be ridiculed or when you wake up you will be surrounded (true story)

RANDOM train thought #3: Call your random train thoughts your "thought of train", haha like "train of thought" get it? (sorry thats sad)

RANDOM train thought #4: The automatic doors between carraiges aren't always very automatic, I wouldn't advise running at them


RANDOM train thought #5: Its 147 steps from where I'm sitting to the food carraige, think ahead!





Anyone who has seen the show and reads this (I dont think there is many/any) will think I am obsessed with the number five and lists containing 5 entries, well I think its all sub-conscience from when I was younger, I used listen to a show that had a "Late and live top 5" every night, I only just realised this the other day. Still nothing wrong with lists of five, everyone has lists of 5 or 3 its like some insane obsession with prime numbers I never heard of a list containing 104,729

 entries before (look it up, its prime, I'm such a geek!)

Getting back to the whole 'death of a laptop thing' I'm actually writing this on "WordPad" now its not great but it does, infact I think its a very underrated program,

Which reminds me, (somehow, how does that remind me?)
Corresepondance with television shows. It can be both good and bad, on "Twotube" you can upload vlogs of your opinions about the music thats reviewed, On "Red" they get loads of fanmail (like sweets and stuff, seriously hmmm Twotube could do with that) on "Family Guy" they get complaints and lots of them. Now I'm a fan and I've seen some extremely offensive things on the show, depending on your views, But this clip below has gotten the most complaints in television history, 188,000. The worst thing is, its no where near the worst I've seen. Anyway enjoy it, (i said this at breakfast the other day, it had the same reaction)





So a lot of people online (well a few, at least one) have been asking if guys have to have strange hair to go on twotube. The simple answer is yes. I used have a tight hair cut, Dylan had black hair and Stephen and Dara were bald in their early teens. Mike on the other hand had dread locks.
Of course its not a prerequisite, But yes I have noticed the selection of hair styles around. On the plus its nice that I am the normal one for once. Ya well thats about it on the topic, Just to clarify anything in that paragraph before this can not be taken with any certainty. Infact I just made it up now.

This train trip is really giving me too much time and I know that about only 10% of people (whats 10 percent of 5?) will get past the first sentence. So for those of you who have well done and I reward you with this important message.

Good night safe home and follow my twitter _ilikeshorts.

15/03/10 First live week of the blog

Finally the first week where I am actually writing the blog just after Twotube.




My first internet news today was a bit of shameless self promotion of this very blog. Why would now give you a link to it afterall you're are here, making this paragraph a bit pointless. So my first actual website is down there .......................... I <---Thats an awful attempt at an arrow............................v








http://tweetbackup.com/
After recently losing everything in my laptops crash, I have become obsessed with back ups; and thats what this website does for your twitter account. In case twitter disappears and you want to be able to keep your many 140 charcater pieces of wisdom.

Some funny twitter posts I've seen.


"apartmentRED- Roses are red violets are blue 4 8 15 16 23 42"



"Sarah Silverman- Diarrhea would be a beautiful name if it didn't mean diarrhea"

Ok well i can only think of that now but I swear I'll put up more before the next eclipse.

http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/
If you think you've taken some strange family photos;then have a look at this site. Here they are dedicated to finding the most awkward and funny family photos over the years. These are the kind of pictures you see and just know that some or most of the people in it either despise the pose they're make or each other. You can expect to see matching outfits in strange locations with weird faces on this site. Luckily I haven't had to endure the cringe factor involved in every photo here.

Was there any need to wear the outfits, like thats a daily thing. The couple on the right are funny somebodys mommy is very attached.

AAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHHHH! leave the cat alone. This guy wants to be a bond villian. Lasers are you serious.

http://eeggs.com/
Apart from eggular shaped chocolate; easter eggs are also hidden messages or features that can be found in films, Tv shows, Games, music and even some books. The site eeggs.com has a huge collection of user submitted easter eggs, across all formats. Shows like "The simpsons" for example when Homer sets up the website mrxswebpage.com to unveil springfields worst secrets, you can actually view that site online now. In films like "Zombieland", which Mike has covered, you can find extra features when using correct combinations in the special features menu.

Look carefully in this shot from Wall-e, thats Rex from toystory hiding between the skittles

Brilliant easter egg from the start of "Fight Club" Your told what to do if you can infact read it




5 Facebook related things

5. I found out today is national "Hug an Engineer Day 2010"

4. http://myparentsjoinedfacebook.com/
the site to look at if your parents have joined, and see some examples of how awkward it can make things.

3. the point where it is too late to ask what someones name is (Awkward)

2. Making up nicknames for people you don't know but see all the time (Stephen knows a tropical juice guy while I know a leass original Simon)

1. I'm intelligent enough to know that Facebook won't start charging




CELEB GOSSSSSS!!!



David Schwimmer AKA Ross from "Friends" who is a serial divorcee is after getting engaged, except in real life. He is after proposing to his girlfriend of 3 yeas, photographer Zoe Buckman. He's now 43 years old and Zoe is only 24 making him old enough to be her father. They met in London in 2007 while he was filming Run Fatboy Run, and they've been together since.









Robert Pattinson has reportedly started travelling with five bodyguards. they were hired while he was filming new movie Remember Me. However, the Twilight star has allegedly decided to keep the bodyguards after he was almost pushed under a car by a group of fans in New York's Union Square. He was pushed off the sidewalk by the sheer number of fans who were trying to get close to him and fell against the door of a moving vehicle. If his clothing had got caught or a foot had gone under the car there's no doubt he would have been dragged along and seriously hurt. It was by pure grace and the quick thinking of his bodygaurds that he survived, the bodyguards reportedly managed to pull him back onto the pavement by grabbing his jacket. It looks like a lot of teenage girls will be very happy now with the very security gaurds who normally keep them away from their dream guy.
















Moby the dance star, not the whale, is asking his fans to make the video for his new single Wait For Me. he has launched a competition offering a lucky winner £3,333 for creating the best music promo to accompany the song. entries must be in before April 5th. Two runners up will receive £667.

He doesn't seem alone in this search though because woman I am a big fan of 'Wallis Bird' is also looking for people to send in videos to acompany any part of her upcoming track "An idea about Mary." All details can be found at ww.bit.ly/wallisvid












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That was my sad attempt at Wallis Bird, at least I didn't go all out with a picture of Moby Dick



Weird wonderful news

After the bad winter the weather has been very tough on roads around Ireland and the world. But a village in Germany is after coming up with a great plan to get their potholes fixed. You can now sponser a pothole for €50 and 111 have already been bought. Since last week people have been able to buy a hole in Niederzimmern near Leipzig.In return the authorities will repair it, and "sponsor" it by putting a personal message on top.
You can choose the right pothole for you on their website www.niederzimmern.de


Weird headline: Japanese woman graduates from school at age of 91





If you've gotten this far down the blog then you deserve an award and the only thing i can really give you is this.................... Maybe sure to tell your friends and keep reading













Follow me on twitter _ilikeshorts

08/03/10 legends, preconceptions, comics and anonymity

www.snopes.com
This is the ultimate urban legends reference page. If you've heard of a legend then its probably here and if not then you can send it to them and they'll investigate. Snopes has a huge collection of myths from around the world from ones associated with disney to "cokelore" the massive array of stories based around coke. Not only is there legends on the site but the also have a huge array of photos that you may have seen in the past and questioned if they were real or not. they have them and a scale of how accurate each rumour is, with some stories unanswerable like, "Is Friday the 13th fraught with peril" Some stories here can put your mind at ease like "Chewing gum takes 7 years to pass through the digestive system"

www.autocompleteme.com
When you're using a search engine like google, after typing the first few letters or words of what your searching; predictions will come up with what they think you might be looking for. Sometimes some fairly strange suggestions come up and this website is dedicated to tracking them all down and posting images off them there. Now I've tried some of these myself and they do work. One is "donkeys are" and it suggests "donkeys are aliens" or "they aren't monkeys" as if people actually sit down at their computers and have nothing else on there mind that things like these become top results. Another one is if you type "imagine a s" it pops up "imagine a spherical cow" and the amazing thing is that it has over 5000 results for it.








www.theoatmeal.com
This is a website that a friend of mine was telling me to check out for ages and when I eventually did I just laughed. What it has is a load of comics drawn by "the oatmeal" about completely random views on life that he has as well as quizzes and micelanious other features. Some of the comics featured include "five reasons pigs are more awesome than you" and "How to tell if your cat is plotting to kill you" As wll as a brilliant assesment of social networking in "How to suck at facebook"


Facebook


A new site that can be linked to facebook is www.formspring.me this is where you set up anaccount and people get to ask you questions anonymously. You can choose whether or not you want to answer them but remember all answers are public so this one is only for the brave out there.


4. you

3. Sitting Forward Wen Losing On Fifa & Saying "Im Going To Start Playing Now"

2. my bluetack sticks all my things to da wall and im like you better not fall

1. I was a rebel when the Bob the Builder song came on and I said No He Cant!






OSCARS!!!
Crazy time because all of celebrity world is oscar mad. They're on tonight on RTÉ2 at 9 o clock. But I'm going to ruin the surprise now. Its an insane event that goes on for hours upon hours and last night it had Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin at the helm. They were brilliant, with some people thinking they should go on tour together. Ben Stiller even dressed up as a Na'vi from Avatar. When it got down to the awards though there were some expected results. Everyones banker Jeff Bridges won best actor for "Crazy Heart" and Sandra Bullock picked up the best actress gong for "The Blind Side" they're both long time actors and first time winners however Bullock did beat off Sidibe from "Precious" to some peoples amazement. The epic battle of Na'vi proportions that has been going on all year between James Cameron and Kathryn Bigelow (I pronounced it wrong it is not beejlow) over "Avatar" and "The Hurt Locker" seemed to be over when Bigelow won best director and it was as it went on to take the "Best film award too" ending up with 6 in total while avatar took 3.

Our talented representitives there like "Granny O Grimm" got beaten in the short animated film category while "Secret of Kells" got edged out by "Up" However Richard Baneham was on the avatar Avatar visual effects team so he's sharing an oscar.

The oscars wasn't the only awards on over the weekend though as the 30th annual Razzies took place. These are given to the worst achievements and the dis-honorees as they are known. Bullock also took away two awards here for her part in "All about Steve." While all three Jonas Brothers got worst male actors in a film where they play themselves. "Transformers 2" was the big winner or loser here though with it taking worst film and director for Michael Bay aswell as screenplay. Eddie Murphy and Paris Hilton took away worst actors of the decade awards.


Now something randomly entertaining


see more


Weird headline: Grandma dares rapids for 90th birthday

01/03/10 March finally. more internet and random stuff.

---http://anagramsite.com/
On this site you can get cool anagrams of your name or anything where they jumble up the letters to make new words. What makes this good is that they have loads of examples of them like. Some of them are almost freaky. “the eyes= they see” “debit card= bad credit” “Clint Eastwood= Old west action” “William Shakespeare= I’ll make a wise phrase”. A less impressive one would be “pickle” which comes out as pelick.



---http://www.netdisaster.com/
Here you can download a software that lets you attack your desktop, so if your getting frustrated with what your doing or have a picture of someone you aren’t the fondest of, or even a website you can use this to destroy them in non permanent way. Here . This video shows it in action on the twotube site. Where I got to, attack it with meteors as well as committing the crime, of shaving Stephens hair off.



http://www.isthereazombieapocalypse.com
A very handy site if you ever wake up and have no connection to the outside world or news you can check this site and it will tell you if there is a Zombie apocalypse. At the moment it says “NO”


Thebabywebsite.com is after announcing a list of the most unfortunate names in Britain which include “Hazel Nutt”, ”Barry Cade “, “Chris Cross” and “Paige Turner” as well as some from America like “Carrie Oakey” and “Bill Board” I’m not going to say anything about how funny these names might seem in case there’s “Anette Curtain” out there.

Facebook
This week facebook has been annoying me and most of its users; with groups that you have to become a fan of, to see what they are about. Groups have been set up out of pure hatred for the evil groups so I just want to give them a mention.

4. I Hate That Little Triangle That The Windshield Wipers Don't Wash

3. The worst thing about sunday is knowing tomorrow is monday. (not too happy about this Twotube should make every monday great, haha.)

2 Why learn algebra? Finding X is only useful if you're a pirate!

1.  For a CRAZY adrenaline rush try having after eights at about half sevenish.




Everyone’s favourite doctor Hugh Laurie is set to appear on Meatloaf’s newest album. After Meatloaf was a guest star on House he said that he’d love to work it Laurie again. So he got him to play piano for his latest album. Hugh is a keen musician because he plays drums harmonica and saxophone. Not only that but he fronts a band called “Band from TV” this really is a band made up of some of tvs biggest stars. With Scott Grimes from ER and American Dad as well as James Denton AKA Mike Delphino from desperate housewives. And a few others from big American shows. They money they raise goes to different charities.




Apparently Ben Stiller is working on a sequel to one of my favourite films ever, “Zoolander” the film where he plays the “really really ridiculously good looking” male model Derek Zoolander. Now its been reported that that he is working on it along with his co star Justin Theroux, who wrote “Tropic Thunder” and “Iron Man 2” who is going to direct it. No one knows yet whether Owen Wilson will be back yet or not to play Hansel the arch enemy in the film; or if there will be as many celebrity cameo appearances as last time. All I know is good or bad I have to see it. I’m having to stop myself listing a load of quotes.



Simon Cowell is allegedly after getting engaged to [insert hard to pronounce name here (Mish-gone apparently)] Hussainy, the chief makeup artist on American Idol. The source of this is mainly speculation due to the enormous ring on stone on her finger. All the Britains Got Talent Personalities are saying he is a completely different person this season and is after getting less cattier and become nicer to contestants and judges alike. This is all happening amongst stories of Cowell recommending Cheryl Cole or maybe Tweedy now to split for her spouse.

22/02/10 Only one link

On this faithful monday evening I had only one quick link at 6 o cloack because Dylan was at the Meteors after "The Simpsons"



A school in the US has been accused of spying on its students by remotely activating cameras built into their laptops. Harriton High School in suburban Philadelphia. Parents of one child have filed a lawsuit against the school. They say staff told them the camera on the school-issued laptop had caught their son doing something "inappropriate" at home.
One mother said "I just received an email from my daughter, who is very upset, saying 'Mum, I have that laptop open in my bedroom all the time, even when I'm changing'." Pupils say they are horrified at the thought that staff could look into their home life. They could see the green light go on. They have copped on and have started putting sticky-tape over the camera lens. The school district says it will fight the lawsuit. It says cameras were only ever activated to track its 2,300 laptops only if they were reported missing, lost or stolen.


'Dead' woman comes back to life
A woman pronounced dead by doctors in Colombia has been rushed back to the hospital after a funeral home worker saw her move while preparing her body. Noelia Serna was admitted to a Cali hospital on Monday after suffering a heart attack and was on life support before doctors declared her dead.
Speaking from the hospital, Dr Miguel Angel Saavedra said the 45-year-old showed no vital signs: "The electronic devices that she was connected to showed that there was no heartbeat nor arterial tension. Because of that, the respiratory therapist performed a test when she removed the respirator and the patient could not breathe on her own. Sadly she was declared deceased."
Funeral home worker Jaime Aullon told reporters: "I stopped the process. And as soon as I stopped I started looking at her whole body and I noticed her midsection moving. I placed my hand here (pointing to his nose and mouth) and I felt her breathing. I told my partner that she should go back to hospital because she is alive."
It is being speculated that it could be a case of what is known as Lazarus Syndrome, a rare condition where heart rate and breathing drop below measurable levels before returning.


I have a facebook group that points out something a lot of guys are thinking and that is .
Ashley Cole, are you stupid!!?? Have you seen how hot your wife is?!?


Weird headline: Former mayor receives two year sentence for underwear theft in England

15/02/10 Weird news

Pope Benedict XVI is after being nominated for a Classical Brit award for the album alma mater – music from the Vatican and he’s up against the priests who also feature on the album. As well as reality TV stars Faryl Smith off of Britains got Talent and Rhydian Roberts of the X factor. That’ll be in May.



Kesha too poor to eat. Kesha used to sell her clothes to buy food. The 'Tik Tok' singer had a poor upbringing which she said helps her keep her feet on the ground now she has an international hit single. She says she is the same person "I was when I was selling clothes to buy a taco for dinner, I just have a few extra bucks." Kesha also said that when she got her first pay packet after becoming famous, she didn't splash out on any lavish or expensive gifts for herself. She added: "I bought a 1998 Honda car, which I needed." This all adds up for good PR for her though as shes been getting a bit of bad press for what kind of a rolemodel she is.




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Hypocritical Madonna Twice-divorcee pop star Madonna will take on a new profession -- marriage referee -- when she makes a television appearance on an upcoming show from comedian Jerry Seinfeld about feuding couples. She divorced her British movie director husband Guy Ritchie in 2008, She also split from actor Sean Penn in the 90’s, yet will be one of a panel of celebrities on "The Marriage Ref" who will decide which spouse should be declared "winner" of a domestic spat filmed in their own homes. A load of celebs are lined up for this including Ricky Gervais and American Larry David Actors Alec Baldwin, Tina Fey, and "Desperate Housewives" star Eva Longoria are also among those expected to make up the rotating celebrity panel on "The Marriage Ref", .



A farmer in Russia's Far East has been handed a suspended prison sentence for planting explosives in his field to keep potato thieves away. 73-year-old Alexander Skopintsev made three tripwire-tethered explosives loaded with salt to ward off trespassers after several spud-snatchings last year. A neighbor suffered a lip injury after triggering one of the devices at the farm. The news agency says he pleaded guilty to the illegal storage and production of explosives, but after all that said he was the neighbours fault for coming onto his land.



A 14-year-old girl from the Isle of Man is off out to Japan since Friday, to promote her debut album which has brought her hundreds of thousands of fans. Rebecca Flint, who goes under the name of Beckii Cruel, acquired her fan base after putting her dance act on YouTube and becoming a star. She has been watched by millions as she dances to Japanese pop music - J-pop - and the theme tunes of anime cartoon shows. She dresses up as her favourite anime or manga character. The characters have big eyes, small faces, big hair and slender limbs, and Rebecca in her alter ego as Beckii Cruel fits the bill perfectly. Its freaky how much like the character she looks. She has performed live in Tokyo and her web page is the second most subscribed among Japan's music scene. Her album is expected to go straight into the Number One slot in the charts after its release.

• How about a picture for those of you who just want something instant and not to look a big loads of writing, this is probably even too long.

The Jamaican bobsleigh team from 1988 the guys who inspired cool runnings.

08/03/10 Apparently 326 days till the years over

Facebook Top 5



5. Lets get Ireland to enter My Lovely Horse in the 2010 eurovision song cont



4. Forgetting what a text message said as your in the middle of replying



3. I bet this (pea/onionring/sausageroll/cucumber/Pickle) can get more fans than... (Miley Cyrus/justin bieber / Cheryl cole/Lady Gaga/Twilight) [onion ring has succeeded]



2. 63 Notifications Later and I regret Liking Your Status



1. Yes I'm from the island of Ireland, No I dont know your friend!







Viralvideocharts.com


Has been around a long time, its created by a London based company called unruly media. On this website not only can you find out about what’s the latest in viral videos but you can track and see how their views change over time. Even if you look at the page now the videos that are rising in views will be the ones everyone will be talking about in a few weeks time. "Use it to get ahead in this present economy" (that is stolen from every advertising agency of the present).




www.bit.ly/twotubehole
This is a pretty random thing to do if your bored. As a child we all thought we could dig through the centre of the earth and end up in china. Well with this site you give your current location and it virtually does the digging to tell you where you would come out. If you do want to go to China you would have to start in Argentina. Now I did a very exact search for twotube studios but unfortunately Ireland ends up in the middle of the ocean south of New Zealand. So when you hear people say New Zealand is on the opposite side of the world you know they’re right.

("Qi" covered this a week later)





www.bit.ly/twotubereverse


This is one of those things we’ve all heard about, If you play a song backwards you can find a hidden meaning. This site for backmasking features a number of these songs along with the supposed lyrics. One or two song s are completely understandable like Pink Floyd’s. But some more modern songs like paparazzi where Gaga apparently confesses her love of satan or the Weird Al song that mocks the whole notion of these backwards songs with his contribution.






Have I funny picture for this weeks well no, but I'm going to look through my collection now.


I found one here it's here, but not very funny so I'll wait till I have a better one, until next time, later.

01/02/10 finally we got rid of "official winter"

Facebook top 5

5. My room isn’t messy its an obstacle course designed to keep me fit

4. I wonder how bebo is getting on

3. Dont you hate it when you die from not passing on chainmail

2. Overheard in (various places) eg. DIT, DCU, TCD, UCC, CIT

1. Procrastinators unite tomorrow

www.altuse.com
AltUse.com is the largest comprehensive resource for alternative use strategies in the world by enabling site visitors to search, post, rank, and share ideas for extending the lifecycle of everyday products. It is an internet destination where consumers discover valuable reuse and recycle strategies

· The site also features a system which rates each alternative use submitted based on voting by registered site visitors. This enables a simple comparison of the functional value of a particular AltUse verses other AltUses. For example, an AltUse with a score of four stars is regarded as superior to an AltUse with a score of three stars.


· AltUse.com is the primary venue for the promotion of alternative uses for commercial products on the internet. And it empowers average citizens to feel like they’re making a difference in the battle against climate change. It also motivates the discovery of new and clever ways to save money.

· Using email, blogger, Facebook, to name a few technologies, site visitors can share their AltUses with friends. For example the banana on this website; it lists 12 alternative uses for bananas. Like as a fertilizer, for treating insect bites and wart removal. One use they didn't have listed was in a novelty comedy video. Which Stephen managed to use it for in his video Banana Hands.
He wasn't the only one who made a Lady Gaga parody.
4 students from Rhode Island who make up Bink productions have made a video called badder romance. They have completely remade the Music video to Lady gagas bad romance using props from around their house. But this was actually tweeted by lady gaga herself. Its a complete remake of the video.




www.orb.com

Is a site where you can download...... completely free software that allows you remote access to your computer. What this means is that when your on holidays of just out for the day you can use the iPhone app or another computer to log into your s and stream whatever important files you might need. But aswell as that it means you can stream live video feed from a webcam once its connected to your computer.





Heres another random pic I came across. You've probably seen it before but it's still funny.

25/01/2010 Week the first for me,

This was my first day on the job and they day where I had to pretend to be calm.




Facebook top 5


5. It was 7am, I blinked, and it was 9am,


4. Lose Phone, Call phone, find phone..." ooh one missed call?"


3. I can't join your group because the grammar in the title is poor.


2. I was educated in a prefab.



1. Soccer stars for Haiti
This is basically a charity facebook group that was created to raise funds for Haiti. They want every professional footballer to give a days wages towards the relief fund. It all came from a news paper article written by Vincent Hogan of “The Irish Independent” already the German team has given 150,000euros, Diego Forlan has given a days wages and the beloved Thierry Henry has given 56,000 euros amongst others. There is huge interest in this group and they have over 16,000 members and growing




Twitter: First Tweet From Space
The most popular word of 2009 was ‘Twitter’ and on Saturday the very first Tweet direct from space was posted. Flight Engineer TJ Creamer posted from aboard Nasa Expedition 22 in the international space station. More than 20 thousand users followed creamer. Before they used to email their posts to ground control where they would be posted to accounts by the administrative team. They hope it will enhance crews time on long missions. NASA did make clear though that they would be under the same use guidelines as government officials on Earth.



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First week down, change of plan for next week, more actual websites.

Intro to the entire blog. Dun Dun Dun!

This blog has been put together to do a couple of things.
->Keep track of life
->Keep track of my Twotube web findings
->Inevitably highlight my poor grammer and spelling

Yep I'm going to put up all of the Twotube stuff now from the last couple of weeks and then see where things go from there.

Ok so to keep you reading heres a mildly entertaining picture that will mildly entertain you.